INTRODUCTION

Are you stuck in a cycle where you’re laughing with your partner one day, and the next, you’re fearing for your life? You know something isn’t right, but instead of addressing it, you shrug it off, embarrassed or convinced he’s usually a “good guy.” 

Hey gorgeous, you don’t have to live like this anymore. Here’s a powerful five-step method to help you confront relationship abuse, prevent it from recurring, and finally ditch it for good. 💋

Recognising Abuse: The First Step to Freedom

You Can Only Fix What You Can See

One of the biggest challenges in abusive relationships is recognising the abuse itself. Often, the behaviour seems so subtle or normalised that you might not even realise it’s happening. Abuse isn’t just physical violence; it comes in many forms, including verbal attacks, control, jealousy, and emotional manipulation. 

Ask yourself: 

• Are you being yelled at, insulted, or controlled?
• Is your partner’s jealousy turning into accusations or restrictions on your behaviour?

Recognising these patterns is the first step in reclaiming your life. You can only address and stop the abuse once you see it for what it is.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Abuse

Awareness is Key

The first and most crucial step is acknowledging that what’s happening is abuse. Whether it’s subtle manipulation or outright violence, accepting that this behaviour is harmful and unacceptable is essential. You cannot move forward without this awareness. 

Ask yourself:

• Why am I tolerating this?
• What message am I sending to myself, my partner, and my children by staying silent?

Step 2: Speak Your Truth

Tell Him How You Feel

One of the most common mistakes in abusive relationships is tolerating the behaviour in silence. Making excuses for your partner’s actions only allows the abuse to continue. If your partner doesn’t know he is behaving unacceptably, how will he learn to change? 

Choose a calm moment to tell him directly how his actions affect you. You might say, “That behaviour was not pleasant for either of us, and it’s unacceptable in our relationship. What can we do to prevent it from happening again?”

**Note:** If your partner has narcissistic personality disorder, confronting them may not lead to change, as they lack the capacity for empathy. To learn more, click the following link to read my blog on living with a narcissist. [Link here]

Step 3: Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries Protect You

Establishing clear boundaries is essential. Discuss and agree on what behaviour is unacceptable and the consequences if those boundaries are crossed. When you set these limits together, you are both more likely to respect them. 

Consider:

• What behaviour makes you feel scared or disrespected?
• How does this affect your children, if you have any?
• What will you do if these boundaries are crossed again?

Step 4: Take Preventive Measures

Plan for Prevention

With boundaries in place, discuss how to prevent the abuse from reoccurring. Understand what triggers the abusive behaviour and take steps to avoid those situations. These steps might include limiting alcohol, seeking therapy, or separating when things start to escalate.

Possible measures include:

• Limiting alcohol or substance use
• Using respectful language, even during disagreements
• Considering relationship counselling or anger management

Step 5: Take Action When Necessary

Know When It’s Time to Leave

If the abuse continues despite your efforts, it may be time to leave the relationship. Leaving can be difficult, but your safety and well-being must come first. If you feel threatened, consider leaving in a non-confrontational way, perhaps when your partner is not around. In severe cases, restraining orders or seeking help from a women’s refuge might be necessary.

Remember, you have options, and you deserve to live free from fear and abuse.

CONCLUSION AND INVITATION

Now What?

How can you prevent yourself from entering another abusive relationship? It starts with recognising even the smallest signs of abuse and taking action immediately. You deserve better, and it’s time to reclaim your life.

In my powerful program, Arise, I help women like you recognise abusive behaviour, build the confidence to speak up and have the strength to leave if necessary. You’ll learn how to give your partner the chance to change while knowing when to walk away. 

Take the first step toward the life you deserve! Find out more about Arise [here]

Because, sister, you were born to be happy!